Monday, February 27, 2012

On the topic of Drunken Starlets

While supposedly diligently researching Billie Holiday so that I may contribute to the topic of Black History Month, before it slips away, I have somehow strayed into letting myself be strangely haunted, much like when I was a daydreaming teen, by this Classic Beauty. I think it was all that talk earlier about Hollywood and popping bottles.
Ever heard of a Drag mother? Well, I wish for Natalie to be my drunk mother. We could drink bourbon together and she could train me in the ways of beauty and tangled love.

A Bullet to the Head

Looks like my quiet mood has been extinguished. Not talking for almost an hour. I thought I would burst. Finally posting this lovely photo right here. It has been a couple weeks now since this bottle was emptied., but i still felt the need to share.
Not even sure that I would be liking Bourbon when I made this investment. Turns out I liked it very much. A flirt by nature, never too available, this one had me hooked on its euphoric effects and coming back for more. Savoring its flavor and unique high, this bottle had me acting grown.  Like I would take my time and keep it around for a while.
Commitment issues from years of disheveled relationships, this is the one Bulleit I could not dodge.

Hold the Phone

Whereas, this Disheveled Prom Queen would normally be comin out revved up to talk about dresses, with so much high fashion unveiled at the Oscars, This Dish Fairy is in a quiet mood today.
And so after flipping through as many shots of gowns that I could get my hands on, I can only humbly offer this photo. Because it has me, much like my mood today.
Speechless.
In a world of safely beautiful, well stitched, perfectly accessorized couture, this young woman,
Ellie Kemper has me not knowing what to think. So many amazing reds this year and I am thinking Who is this auburn lady?

Saturday, February 25, 2012

DPQ on the definition of insanity

Yeah,
You know This Prom Queen knows something about insanity.
Ever heard how the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Well, DPQ has her own personal version of that she can't seem to avoid.
Of course, it has to do with men.
You see, Tony's Old Girl got a thing for Rappers. We have already discussed it. And let me tell you. Choices I'm making for my own self got me going crazy, so I definitely don't need a man helping.
But every once in a while, I end up gettin a little caught.
And this is my latest. I'm saying goodbye to him before we say hello. Mos def.
Mmm hmm, this man Dublin has me trippin. Make me think about the old days somethin fierce.
See, before I found my niche as a shit talkin blogger, lookin for a fight, I used to play at this game called rap. My one true love.
I was the girl.
And as the girl, there would always be the boy in the cypha I'd be crushin on. Cuz his flows be the most. But let me tell you, these boys are all the same. Knowin what I know, you think would keep me from fallin for this boy right here. But I guess I just like it when a man be makin me go crazy. Serenading me with those Latin beats, how can I resist.
 Love it how you sittin in the pocket Dublin. You strong country ass white dude. I'll be right by your side during that 8 day bender. And.
Dublin got a sensitive side too which is why I really keep him around. Fo sho He like my style and grace and I wanna see what he look like with his clothes off too. I already had a shotgun wedding with a rapper, so we can skip that act, but I'm hopin Dublin gonna give me that honeymoon I never had.
This one'll be different, you'll see.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

No slams here

Everthing about this photo is excellent.
Do the breaks light up when she stops walking?

DPQ digs in

Ok, so can I put myself on blast and say that in my headline for this site, I tout myself as being so opinionated as to get my ass kicked when in truth I fear that the comments I dish out could quite possibly offend only the most sensitive of readers. But with this one, please allow me to cut a little deeper. As I wind up my fashion posting frenzy inspired by W magazine by sharing with you my least favorite ad from the issue.
Can I just say that I am not feeling this photo on any level. Let me start by taking personal offense at the blatant misuse of this bird of paradise. You see, I myself am feeling a new found sense of pride in the fact that with proper use of the imagination, the bird of paradise flower does in fact resemble a bird. My whole life, I was lookin at these flowers thinking.......bird? Where?
And then one day last month, it hit me. Boom. Green beak, yellow feathers coming off the top of the head. New level of tropical beauty. And then, finally, birds of paradise became super cool lookin. This model is not there yet with it. What is this pose? Number one. But number two. Is this poor misrepresented bird of paradise the only thing you could think of to add a pop of color to the pallet of this shoot? Cuz I am not getting a sense of balance or composition from this photo at all. I barely notice the bag being advertised because I am too busy turning the page past this, however striking, really strangely posed girl in a drab dress. There were four pages of photos like this back to back. The worst, all of them. Ok, I feel better.

Creepy Goth is In

And so diving right in today. Let us just chat a little about how this whole creepy Goth thing is trending right now. We saw Nicki at the Grammy's right?
Let me fire off a couple of obvious comments and say. What year is it? Why you rocking that? Nicki doesn't strike me as particularly religious. Was that her idea? Devil's advocate, let me come right back with. The hood is dope. DPQ loves hoodies so this is just some next level hoodie shit, right? Also, good thing the creepy robe was covering this fantastic dress.
Loves it. You safe Nicki. Plus thanks for the show. I haven't seen something that wild since the Who's Tommy. not in musicality Pete. no knocks to your genius. yet I digress. Cuz really, I am talking about creepy goth. and so let's continue. Kate Moss. a lil strange in her own right, I would say. She is the cover model for this month's, Black History Month mind you, issue of W magazine.
Oh wait, did you think that I was coming out against creepy goth? Quite the contrary. Cuz I am feelin this photo. Considering the disheveledness of my love life, I am kind of a nun. But like, this kind of nun. The nun with the rubber thigh highs and platform stilettos underneath type of nun. All day.
A blog site called PopYaColla is running the headline of "Offensive and Sacreligious?" as the title of their article about this photo shoot. And my quick ass, ignorant ass response to that title is. The priest/ altar boy scandal, "offensive and sacreligious?"
Let's shake this shit up. Cuz at this point, there is no saving me.
You might be thinking to yourself, funny DPQ, but you comin off like a a dish fairy right now, cuz this shit ain't that creepy. Not to worry. Just gettin warmed up.
Devil wears Prada. Actually the horns are Alexander McQueen and the bodysuit is Rocha. but it is true that the only thing creepy here is Kate's teeth.
Fill in your own blanks here.
And I am going to finish my even longer than usual post with this one, right here.
This is my absolut favorite photo. So maybe I am the creepy one.The Italian in me is loving this one.
Sickening.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Fashion Frenzy

Disheveled Prom Queen  here after not blogging for a whole day. And I am here to tell you that the way to know how truly addicted you are to something is to not have it. Not being able to make a post in the last day or two has had me feinding worse than I ever have for the sleeper crush. Reason being is that while I have been stretching out beyond my comfort zone with my foray into sports writing, which I have thoroughly enjoyed, I am ready to dig into some more familiar topics for the next few posts and so.
Let's do some fashion. Cuz like, what else does a Prom Queen know about anyway?
Seeing that in my birthplace of New York City, Fashion Week was a couple weeks ago, I picked up a copy of W magazine at a news stand the other day. And I have got lots of opinions......
But since I am writing on borrowed time and borrowed Wifi, let me ease into to my fashion frenzy from the accessories department. And promise to get back to you with more posts in that next couple days.

Forget about Lotus Flower Bomb, cuz that song is so played and please let me introduce you to Viktor & Rolf's fragrance....Spice Bomb
 Loving the packaging. Let me get to the Bloomie's counter soon so I can add to my arsenal what it takes to blow men's minds.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Rookie Update #2

Disheveled Prom Queen comin to ya with another Rookie update.
And since I am fresh off of embarasing myself on the internet yesterday, I promise you I was on nba.com double checking some stuff. Cuz truth be told, this prom queen ain't got nothing but a radio at the crib. It's a whole disheveled sports radio/nba.com tv companion thing goin on at my house to keep track of plays and players. The second half gets a lil blurry for me the blurrier I get.
S'all right cuz truth be told DPQ loves her some sports radio. Loves, loves, loves.  except the commercials. they are the worst. whew, i'm drawlin. let me get to it!
Now, I told you I was wanting to check out the boy Ricky Rubio.
This rookie has been getting quietly hyped up all season. Last night was a good way for me to check out a new guy without going too far out of my way. Got to peep him as his team, the Minnesota Timberwolves, hosted Philly's own Sixers.
Ricky be lookin cute, so I was definitely wantin to see what he's got. And let me tell you, he was a little bit burning up the court last night. This boy be moving fast and making some nice shots. And you know I like a team player. Humble is a turn on, yes. And when you have a big gun like Kevin Love leading your team, you smart to know when to pass it over for the goal.  That's good, cuz I like em smart too. Cute without smart is only nice to look at. But a so so cutie with lots of smarts, could get a number for sure.
So here's the part where it gets disheveled....
Rubio is definitely a cutie. Scoring his most points in one game last night, just like the rookie I was crushin on last Friday night, our #8 Nik Vucevic. So, as much as my mind can easily wander to a rookie/lucky charm sandwich, truth is, my mind was on a whole nother dude's swagger last night.
This photo from Friday night's game had me smitten so I was really wondering how much I would hear the name Young in last night's game. You see, while many ladies, compete to get in that spotlight with the hottest boy, I be over in the cut admiring the muscles of the supportive nobility behind the princes. Thaddeus Young was this last night, with ball splapping defense, nailing shots when it counts. Go head Young. I got my eye on you boo.
Only thing is, really I be going boy crazy. Cuz let's not forget my blind date, Jru Holiday.
Comin up with 22 shots. Don't think I didn't see you there sweetheart. I love it how you had that ball on the rim just spinnin and spinnin before it fell in.
Only thing is, while I was going boy crazy watching that Sixers @ Timberwolves game last night, I missed out on the excitement of the Nuggets vs. Thunder game where super hottie Kevin Durant hit the most points of any one man this season sinking 51 points worth of baskets. Poetry in motion, I love watching his highlights. He got the kind of moves that make a girl want learn to play ball.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Sono means sound

DPQ laying to rest some disheveled behavior and unwindin from work.
I relate to this mix. I love all Kelpe's influences here. Feels like lower Broadway at dusk.
Golden. Inspiring. Stimulating. And most importantly, excellent Bass. with a capital B.
As I get my 5am chill on.
 http://soundcloud.com/kelpe/kelpe-sonotown-podcast
The first 3 min. are for me, completely what hip-hop at an instrumental level is.
An infusion of breaks and atmospheric sounds.
19 min. is so innovative. Amazing stuff. But before you get on me like, this isn't hip-hop... I'll say go head n push me down cuz you know i'm stand up for another round and say that these breaks got a pace steady like hip-hop. Try to criticize Kelpe's quirkiness and imma say who am I to cut this rising star off at the knees for experimenting. No body's perfect.
Yes, I found a computer Love and imma fight for him.
Bout to hit the pubs of London to chill with my new boy Kelpe.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Rookie Update

Disheveled Prom Queen finishing off that bottle of American Honey tonight.
Sweet as a dessert wine.
A very Ladylike bottle indeed.
Well so, it is time for a rookie update.
I almost said verdict, but it is only mid season so we're still talkin crushes.
Tonight, I was crushin on Sixers rookie, Nik Vucevic.
You see he and I connect when he takes those Southpaw shots.
But he's a Scorpio. Uh-oh
I know he was having one of the best games of his career and all, but I just like how tall
he is.  And what a cutie. I would definitely flirt back.

Stencil Stealthily

Ok, ok, ok, enough blogging about affairs of the heart.
Especially since when I look into my disheveled heart lately, I feel nothing.
Not sayin it's cold as ice in there, just whatev. regular. no aching or longing.
Which I find completely disheveled. Can I get a palpitation or somethin?
Being grown can't mean no more flutterin.
If so, I'm about to do some real immature shit to prove that I can still be tragically wrecked by a handsome man. Like wait for Tone outside his job and then sit home cryin for days after he calls me a crazy stalker. no wait, that aint a flutter producing plan. bump that.
Hmm. see what I mean?
Anyway, have i already told you about my amazingly talented cousin in Brazil that does the stencil art? No? Well anyway my other amazing musician cousin, her brother, sent her this awesome pic which I think everyone in my world should see. Cuz you know how I be feelin about graffiti.
Awesome yo. next time you see me, you're gonna be like what's that's rattlin? And I'm gonna be like, what rattlin? When it's really the spray can in my bag. But always remember to graffiti respectfully.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

I Want Your Love

Disheveled Prom Queen aka the Dish Fairy here to dish up the official V-Day post.
Truth is, I been wanting to share a tender morsel about another of the gems (disheveled mutherfuckers) I dated.  And so without hesitation, let's dive in.
Well. So. You know how DPQ gets with the younger men. Like my much younger lover Miguel, etc.?...
No? Well here's a recap. The older ones are balding, slightly desperate, boring, stalker-ish. (except Tony, he is always the exception)
The young ones tend to be more fun, cuter, and carefree. (clueless...)
So anyway. I was messin with this young boy a while back.  but yo, this guy had issues. Stamina not being one of them, thank god.
he would like, blow up my phone and want to chill or talk everyday for like a week straight. Like had to have his B. so I'm makin time for this dude. and then, he would ghost out for two or three weeks, month or two? And not in a Ghostface Killer type of way, cuz Tony be lettin a girl know he's got biz to handle. Go head Tone, you hard ass working communicating sexy muthafucka....
Now me, I was in it cuz I liked his muscles. And he was a talented ass musician who could drink till dawn. Win, win, win. But this boy did not understand the concept of being a "Lover." I was like, let's hunker down for a couple months, go deeper-n-deeper-n-deeper and then be on our merry ways.
But no, he was over there like drawing up the terms of a contract and shit. We can fuck on this day. Suck everyday day, but visit the flower never, cuz you not my bitch. only Kiss on every other Tues.
and then on tuesdays which I most looked forward to, he would cancel and shit.
Eventually, I was like bitch please, when you gonna make me quiver. Wtf.
It's not like I wanted him to be my boyfriend or some shit.
Label me with the word relationship and I ice up real quick. And I'm not talkin about diamonds.
the best was when he told me he didn't want to be with me, whilst we were in bed!
Like damn, can we please finish first?
Sloppy.
I answered his last text with. "On my way to this gig, see you later maybe." That was in response to after ghosting for 3 months he texts. "Whut up?"
What up? You know what's up. You and that other girl you tryna use me to rebound off of.
This was our song.
Cuz, like Gaga says, "I want your love, I don't want to be friends!!!!!"
And can we talk for a second about this video? I must confess, I don't bump the Gaga on the regular or anything, but this video is excellent. A bath house full of monsters. A flaming bed. And lets not forget in the end how she lays up next to the burnt skeletal remains of her lover, smoking a cigarette with the pistols of her machine gun bra still sparking. Pure art. and drippin with Gucci
Holler at me if you want my revenge, cuz I'm  free bitch baby!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Just in time for Valentine's

So.
Just in time for Valentine's day, I decided to visit the dating web-site I belong to.
 And if you happened to catch the previous post I wrote on the same subject called, "Why did I do it?" you would think that people make the shit they write to me up, just to be featured in my random ass blog.
Cuz yo. While other people maintain their faith in the usefulness of on-line dating sites, visiting them is for me only a constant reminder of the drastic difference between those that pursue me and those whom I want to be pursued by.
Basically, if I don't ask a mutherfucker out, I ain't gettin no play.
Forreal. forreal.
Peep this gem. And I quote,
"If you don't respond, I'll just have to go back to searching random backyards for stray pets and being the neighborhood spinster."
WTF!!!!!
And people wonder why it took me so long to get over Tony. with his fine ass smoothe talkin ass self. jeez.
You will be happy to know that this one is not all the way bald, his hairline is only receding.
Thank you OKCupid for finding me love. Hmm. mind wandering. need me a new bottle of liquor.
I think it will be this Wild Turkey Honey Whiskey everyone is talking about.
Definitely not feeling disheveled enough.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

My Valentine

Let's stop frontin.
Y'all know who my St. Valentine is
Take control of the Chick
then go in deep like Tony Romo

Cupid is Stupid

Disheveled Prom Queen here to reveal some more of my truly disheveled behavior. Basically the fact is, that to avoid the social pressure and obligation of living up to the expectations of certain big holidays, I have taken to making it a point to be working on such days. There are a couple of main reasons I do so. Number one, It is easy to find work on the holidays because most people want to be off. And the truly and main reason I do it is so I can say things like, thank you for inviting me to your holiday dinner (that I totally don't want to attend even though there is such great pressure to do so) but I have to work.....
And as far as I am concerned, why should Valentine's Day be any different.  Why worry about whether or not I have a Valentine. I'm busy. Working. Mmm hmm. And so.
Unwinding now after working a completely romantic event at one of the most beautiful locations in the Philadelphia area. Longwood Gardens. That joint was poppin tonight. Sexy as hell. Erotic flowers all over place and so much pollen and fragrance floating through the air, you be wanting to fornicate.
But, fuck it, let's get to the point. flowers are always the way to get me into bed any day. Give me a flowering potted plant and I am yours. Cuz that is bonus points all the way.
What I am talking about is avoiding the social obligation of holidays because of the pressure it puts on people to feel a certain way. And the thing with Valentine's Day is...I might love my man supremely 364 days a year, but just so happen to be the mood on Valentine's Day to say, go fuck yourself. I'm having a girls' night.
And so, let me wind this posting up with a quote from one of the bartenders from the Sexy event tonight.
"A woman came up to me tonight and said, 'I need two drinks. One for me, and one for my husband. I just told him I want a divorce.'"
Happy motherfucken Valentine's Day! Cupid is Stupid!
But yo, this was me & Tony's joint.

RIP Whitney. Your impression on me is lasting.
And let me put myself on blast by saying that I did occupy myself this evening by sending goofy photos of flowers to the sleeper crush. But I don't need a fucken holiday to inspire me to be thoughtful. Whut

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Been caught creepin

Only thing about me-n-Holiday, is I already been caught creepin. I swear I'm not a playa, but yo, I am in the dog house right now. Cuz my sometimes man was in town last night and cost us the game. My girl is pissed. I keep tellin her I wasn't with him, but she doesn't believe me.
Considering it's my second post about him tho, maybe I should admit my true feelings.
Last night, Chris Paul stole the show from Lou Williams with only three seconds left in the game. And now me and my girl are gettin into it. But yo, Chris P. is a prime example of a man doing his best no matter who it hurts.  Truthfully tho, me-n-#3 only hung out a couple times. I am still a free agent. There are many cuties out there. Cuz I got my eye on Rubio too.

Still crushin

So yeah, I can't be touchin my girl's man, 23, but she did give her blessing to me hittin it off with this cutie right here. Jru Holiday.
And he do have a sexy game face. I think we gonna start chattin a little. see how the chemistry is, you know. I like to stand by a man during his come up. And my number 11 has got heart. Maybe he will be my Valentine.



Crushin a lot

Remember when I was all hype in the beginning of the basketball season? Said I would whorin around with all the diffrent teams to see who I like?
Well, as a novice follower of the sport....of course I said that. And a month and a half into the season, I have come to realize that routing for the home team is, of course the best path for the novice sports fan.

So Disheveled Prom Queen has been tuning in for the Philadelphia 76'ers, cuz this is the town i been stompin it up in. Go team! This year, Philly fans seem refreshed and lovin their team like Iverson was back on it. But yo, the Disheveled Prom Queen cannot be talkin stats and plays. that's not my way.
So I have decided to approach my comments about b'ball through, of course, fashion and boys.
So....
thing about routin for the Sixers is....they got a red jersey. Which is good, cuz red looks good on me, so that is one of the main things I am looking for in a team. And number two; Sixers got many cute boys on the roster.
This year's Philly hot boy is Lou Williams.
Boom boom. What a cutie. But yo, that's my girl's man. So I caint go near him. So imma just stalk his career and crush it from afar.
But yo, my girl's man be kickin it with Nelly.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

All over the Place

Disheveled Prom Queen, aka the Dish Fairy, aka Tony's Old Girl is disheveled as hell as of late.
And in my world, disheveled as hell equals in my dramatic mind, borderline schizophrenic.
Yo, I got a lot of different aspects to my personality.
"Pull me closer if you think you can hang."
And so, right after sharing a quite commercial bootilicious track with you, please allow my to flip my script and give you, some of the undergroundest most beautiful shit.
This my girl, Zaki Ibrahim.
Yo, I wish I was her, more than I wish I was MIA, or Ana Tijoux.
Don't know if y'all have ever seen Pan's Labrinth? Well I have. Watched that ish over and over, barely reading the subtitles, completely mezmorized by the cadence of the language (Catalan) and captivated by the imagery through out. Pure dopeness. And if you have seen the flick, you will notice that my girl Zaki is doing her own take on some key scenes from that movie. Pure dopeness.

My Much Younger Lover

Oh Miguel,
You got me again. We had our quickies many times.
But this track makes me want to get boo-ed up!
Mmm hmm, smoochie smoochie
But yo, don't tell my boo, that I think his dancing in the trench-coat is goofy. 
Me n the smokin hot pole dance chick is gonna have to be sharin.
Yo, we aint got this shit in Philly.
Or do we?.........
Message me if you're packing these type of skillz, cuz I want yer autograph.

Monday, February 6, 2012

DPQ weighs in on the "Flip Slip"

In America, last night, it was Superbowl Sunday.
And much like how I was raised, this Disheveled Prom Queen sat home doing chores
while watching the game.
Not to worry, I don't need to be at a party to get disheveled. There was Bourbon involved.
And as sipping the hooch all classy-like gives me a belly ache, I have taken to shots; which I highly recommend as it produces a euphoric effect.
Let me get to the point.......
As I fold laundry a little buzzed, after a very exciting first half, the half time show comes on.
Madonna is rockin the house with the coolest HD video dancefloor ever and I watch anxiously as
I know MIA will be performing.
A huge fan, I wasn't feelin her last album at all, but I still can't help but get excited that an icon of
my sub-culture is performing the half-time show with Madonna.
And of course, my beloved "raging ball of rebel," M*I*A, does not disappoint.
Not only does she flip the bird, but she also gets away with saying, "shit" on National Television.
peep this beautiful photo.

Although I shunned her in the past for just going for the "shock," as her last album was full of shock and lacking in substance, I have to say............brilliant marketing scheme MIA, with your new album dropping. But while NBC apologizes for some bird shit, let's skip right to the more important stuff.
Her new vid.
Fast cars, Arabian horses, world music hip-hop traxxx & raps.
Excellent come back baby girl. You have once again made me jealous, just like old times.
"Don't go screamin if I Blow you with a BANG!!!"


Friday, February 3, 2012

A new kind of Queen

So here is the thing,
at my most Prom Queen-ness, I am only disheveled.
A lady, until I am just not a lady at all. More in my comfort when the hot mess in me starts creepin out.
And so, of course, I am fascinated by Drag Queens, because they are experts in feminine.
I regularly look to them for examples of how to be more fierce.
Yo, when RuPaul first came out, I thought she was a woman. For reelz. and so, of course, watch her show. "Drag Race."
That shit is disheveled as hell! straight up my alley.
But, folks before you close your minds all the way to drag queens, let me share with you, a new obsession.
A lovely queen named, "Sharon Needles."
This bitch is freaky as hell!
At first I thought, she was just straight weird lookin.
But her runway walk modeling post-apocolyptic style was gnarly and captivating.
I can't find video to illustrate how she exuded feminity while strutting the runway dripping blood from her mouth, but she did it!
This bitch is ILLLLLLL!!!!!!!