Rippling Back for a Sec

And so here we go!
Just got a new battery for my computer.
Been needing one ever since I threw up on my computer a couple years back.
It was the night I wrote to Brooker Wood about riding Arabian horses in the dessert.
There's a post about it on here somewhere.
And let me tell you, I did have a moment earlier today, when this Zaki Ibrahim song came on my iTunes, that reminded me of that whole time. Back when I was in fact, taking those painfully slow, baby steps towards getting back in the game, maybe finding some love.
Finding myself utterly crushing on a hippie rapper dude that reminded me so much of Kenny that I couldn't decide whether to fall in love or keep him close as a friend.
And so in this contemplation drank almost a whole bottle of the Kracken and threw up on my computer, not before reaching out to my crush with a disheveled sentiment about riding horses in the dessert.
This Zaki Ibrahim song reminds me of those times.

I wept for my innocence when I heard it today.
I have made a huge go of it, since then, with this whole love thing.
Only at this point to be, not jaded, but sadly, back to having no time in my schedule for the awkward process of meeting someone new, should I call?...should I text?...or wait for him to holler?...
and not a thick enough skin to tolerate the slightest hint of game playing.
Oh that girl, the innocent one, scared to death, but still mustering the inebriated courage to put herself out there in hopes of maybe finding someone to occasionally cook dinner for or to get carried out of the bar by.
Love that girl. But she ain't here no more. Let's pour a little liquor out for her gentle soul.
Oh and in case you were wondering, Brooker Wood and I have become friends after all.
He even texted me on my birthday! And although I get it that he and I do best as friends,
I still geeked a little. :-)

On Draft

If there was a time for my on-line army to support me. then I suppose that time is now.
Considering I have practically left this site for dead, how could I expect my devouted
following to rally?
However, when have I ever allowed myself to need validation from followers to post what I post!
And so to you, the many I entitle the "Audience of One...."
Ellipse, ellipse, ellipse.
to fill in the blanks, I can only bring y'all up to date by saying...I am drunk!
My mother recently passed away, and that is a Shitty thing.
Leaving me more disheveled than ever, if only in the fact that, I am required these days,
to not be disheveled.
To live up to her expectations, or at least, Honour her memory.
And all I have to say is that, I remain.
Completely.
Edie Sedgwick on the whole matter.
Determined to find out where the hell Paul America is, before my own demise.
And so, if I were to dedicate a song to my whole plight, this may be it,
for I know nothing else, but to discover through my own indescretion, clarity in the whole matter.
I give to you, this slightly out of date banger.

Gone are the Broken Eyes

Hey Y'all
Scrolling over this sad and lonely blog, I have come to realize one thing. The whole past year while
I was going 100% on the Kenny Muthafucka in real time, I completely abandoned my writings on here, which are, completely therapeutic and still probably the best way to expose my thoughts into the disheveled matters of my life.
So, that being said, I hereby declare that from now on, no more looking for Kenny in real time.
I mean I'm not saying he can't holler if he wants, but a Prom Queen don't chase, no matter how disheveled.
Ok, well I am willing to admit that most of the chasing does occur while in a disheveled state.
Like how I am convinced that he and I belong together and so call him just after pounding a
6-pack of Hoegaarden.
Or like how he professed his Love for me, said I was his girl,  and told me he was  coming all the way from Cali to Philly for a visit just to bang me...three days into  his 5 day birthday bender.
Oh what a pair. Do you see why I've allowed myself to hold on?
I love Us.
But hey, lots of things have happened lately and so I must put the Kenny down and get back to my tales. Because honestly, I am more disheveled than ever! 
2013 was the year of the Kenny and was amazing, intense, and changed me forever.
2014 tho, is no more looking for Kenny fuck it, let's look for something else.