Why did I do it?

Honestly feeling quite disheveled today.
Holiday let down combined with not enough sleeping off of the New Year's party binge, left me vulnerable to a mild panic attack at facing a potential nother year with no birthday kiss, that leads into another year deficient in cuddles; fighting off bitterness with every wack approach...
I must admit, that I logged onto the dreaded dating web-site today as a last resort.
Why did I do it?
I guess I should come clean and admit that I did decline an invite for drinks on New Year's with someone I had just recently met. so it's not as though I don't get asked.
This guy being some one who hit me up on facebook after the first time we met saying,
"You are much more fun when you are awake." (as opposed to passed out drunk)
Nice enough guy; but I've got a thing for a man with a checkered past.
If his past aint checkered, I am not sure how disheveled he's gonna get me.
This guy not lookin so checkered.

So I did a little check up at my options on this web-site,
cuz that is a much better way to meet somebody....
Had some e-mails waiting since I haven't been on since October.
My favorite being,
"I would like to know more about you. That sounds so stalker-like, but anyway, i would."
 How about this one.....?
"wow, we match 68%. In some countries, that means we are married. As long as we don't go to these countries at the same time, we are safe. smiley face...."

And to be certain, both of these guys were rockin baseball hats to cover their shiny domes.

At this point, I am thinking mail order cutie? or Rent a cutie?
Bring him in every couple weeks for a stroll in the park. Or to watch the game in our slippers?
Chill by the fire. You know, some easy like Sunday mornin type of shit with my checkery past rent a date, so I don't get all bitterlike? hmmm
Also, in case all of my avid male readers were wondering, "Hello beautiful" is not an effective ice-breaker.
And not to worry, this blog is longer than my actual moment of panic.
Cuz we all will be swimmin in cuties this year and imma catch me a good one.