So remember when I told you that it is now all about white girl rappers?
Have you ever seen such a thing in your life?
This chick is packin dragons! Brooke Candy. Hell you come from gurl?
Have you ever seen such a thing in your life?
Monday, January 14, 2013
Happy Bday to Me
Well it's my birthday today. So I am sure you are wondering how disheveled I am.
And all I can say is well. as disheveled as one can feel after shots of Jameson and beers on friday,
sips of a 1933 Port and some Chandon on Sat., bottle of Brut with the bestie on Sunday...
I feel great!
but last year? Whole nother story.
You see last year, in my vanity, I was not so thrilled to be having a birthday.
People would ask, "how old are you turning?"
And I would respond, "I'm turning old."
May as well have been turning 40 in a homeless shelter. Damn, I was down.
In fact, last year, the only thing as could cheer me was cooking
a nice Soul Food dinner for a Kenny Muthafucka.
Extending a lil Southern Hospitality and a home cooked meal from my cast iron skillet to a
super nice, cutie hoping we'd be best friends from that point on.
Sipping our drinks out of mason jars, while I show him my jelly jar collection and such.
Well kiddies, that boo and I are social media pen pals at best. Which is actually quite nice.
I love a good pen pal. Had been lookin to fill the position.
And as for not securing a resident cutie pie? We not want that. After 10 years of marriage,
honey I am dim sum sample platter with it.
Cuz I barely know what Love is anymore.
And so I am pleased to, on my birthday, introduce you to. My latest rapper boo crush. Raz Simone:
Take a piece of my soul honey! Help yourself. Please! Southern hospitality style. It's my birthday.
And when you leave, I nah be mad. I been livin cold too!
And all I can say is well. as disheveled as one can feel after shots of Jameson and beers on friday,
sips of a 1933 Port and some Chandon on Sat., bottle of Brut with the bestie on Sunday...
I feel great!
but last year? Whole nother story.
You see last year, in my vanity, I was not so thrilled to be having a birthday.
People would ask, "how old are you turning?"
And I would respond, "I'm turning old."
May as well have been turning 40 in a homeless shelter. Damn, I was down.
In fact, last year, the only thing as could cheer me was cooking
a nice Soul Food dinner for a Kenny Muthafucka.
Extending a lil Southern Hospitality and a home cooked meal from my cast iron skillet to a
super nice, cutie hoping we'd be best friends from that point on.
Sipping our drinks out of mason jars, while I show him my jelly jar collection and such.
Well kiddies, that boo and I are social media pen pals at best. Which is actually quite nice.
I love a good pen pal. Had been lookin to fill the position.
And as for not securing a resident cutie pie? We not want that. After 10 years of marriage,
honey I am dim sum sample platter with it.
Cuz I barely know what Love is anymore.
And so I am pleased to, on my birthday, introduce you to. My latest rapper boo crush. Raz Simone:
Take a piece of my soul honey! Help yourself. Please! Southern hospitality style. It's my birthday.
And when you leave, I nah be mad. I been livin cold too!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Lap A Luxury
And so on the theme of Sex/Money 2013, which promises sex music.
Cuz for me, it's really like. Sex/Money/Music
this song is sure to induce sexy time if played for me by dude when I am nice.
I can't explain what it does to my body. Forreal. Completely disheveled.
https://soundcloud.com/lapalux/guuurlCall me easy.
Cuz for me, it's really like. Sex/Money/Music
this song is sure to induce sexy time if played for me by dude when I am nice.
I can't explain what it does to my body. Forreal. Completely disheveled.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Get that Booty Back
Since I just exposed y'all to some of the um. whitest-ness I've ever seen.
Here's a little somethin to help us put the Funk back in it.
Here's a little somethin to help us put the Funk back in it.
Shoo Shoo Shoo
Nancy Sinatra. Absolutely a disheveled prom queen.
Is she forreal with this? I could think of so many other things to be up to in '67. Damn.
No wonder why people were sipping the Kool Aid.
Ever see Undercover Brother? I think I've been white washed. If you just watched, let's go listen to gangsta rap and meet back here.
Is she forreal with this? I could think of so many other things to be up to in '67. Damn.
No wonder why people were sipping the Kool Aid.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Grace Under Pressure
So basically, I got a Will & Grace thing going.
When I'm not out being a Killah Queen, turning down dates with young bucks (that's what we call youngins here in Philly) I'm dealing with much more real and disheveled-like situations such as having a crush on a gay man at work.
Yo. This shit is disheveled.
I know he has a man. I know he ain't ever gonna change from that. And still, I am drawn to him,
like think he's cute, and find myself a lil giddy or extra smiley around him.
So I'm like wtf?
Shoot, he's more masculine than some straight guys I know.
But still clearly. not. looking. my. way. in that way.
Utterly Disheveled.
So the break down is. I like a dude in touch with his feminine side. Sure. It's somehow sexy.
But they can't be girlish. And I can't stand no bitch ass man. Man, I can't say quite what it is.
I like a softer side but I gotta know they can fuck some shit up. Be uncompromising.
All out Manly at points. Gruff n stuff.
So yeah, my gay work boo crush. He's Manly. Speak his mind n shit type guy. But real sweet.
Oh wait. here I go again. and so. not. into. me.
I am so Will and Grace with this one.
And it is somehow totally different than being into pretty boys. Or is it?
I guess I have a history.
Or do I? Ruffneck? Pretty Boy? Lady boy? What is it?
So disheveled.
It's no wonder I absolutely Love me some David Bowie.
Who as much as admitted in the 70's to being bi-sexual, but then went on to marry one of the first black supermodels. They have kids and all and have been together almost 20 years I think.
Well he is a fellow Capricorn and his b-day is today.
His lovely wife Iman being a Saggitarius just like my Tony was. What a hot couple!
Happy Birthday Mr. Bowie, you sexy androgynous genius mother fucker. Dishevel me anytime.
This is my new favorite song. I will come. And I will go. It's like he knows me!
When I'm not out being a Killah Queen, turning down dates with young bucks (that's what we call youngins here in Philly) I'm dealing with much more real and disheveled-like situations such as having a crush on a gay man at work.
Yo. This shit is disheveled.
I know he has a man. I know he ain't ever gonna change from that. And still, I am drawn to him,
like think he's cute, and find myself a lil giddy or extra smiley around him.
So I'm like wtf?
Shoot, he's more masculine than some straight guys I know.
But still clearly. not. looking. my. way. in that way.
Utterly Disheveled.
So the break down is. I like a dude in touch with his feminine side. Sure. It's somehow sexy.
But they can't be girlish. And I can't stand no bitch ass man. Man, I can't say quite what it is.
I like a softer side but I gotta know they can fuck some shit up. Be uncompromising.
All out Manly at points. Gruff n stuff.
So yeah, my gay work boo crush. He's Manly. Speak his mind n shit type guy. But real sweet.
Oh wait. here I go again. and so. not. into. me.
I am so Will and Grace with this one.
And it is somehow totally different than being into pretty boys. Or is it?
I guess I have a history.
Or do I? Ruffneck? Pretty Boy? Lady boy? What is it?
So disheveled.
It's no wonder I absolutely Love me some David Bowie.
Who as much as admitted in the 70's to being bi-sexual, but then went on to marry one of the first black supermodels. They have kids and all and have been together almost 20 years I think.
Well he is a fellow Capricorn and his b-day is today.
His lovely wife Iman being a Saggitarius just like my Tony was. What a hot couple!
Happy Birthday Mr. Bowie, you sexy androgynous genius mother fucker. Dishevel me anytime.
This is my new favorite song. I will come. And I will go. It's like he knows me!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Sex/Money 2013!
Ladies, get your ratchet DPQ updo's going and Gents be sure to be saying 2 things nice.
We gonna have a good time this year and my dance card is going to be full, I'll tell you what.
Bringing it to a whole new level of disheveled for 2013!
Leaving 2012 in the dust. This Prom Queen ain't Ton'y Old Girl no more.
This Killah Queen is about to become more opinionated than ever.
Sex/Money 2013 people. It's official. Let the games begin!
We gonna have a good time this year and my dance card is going to be full, I'll tell you what.
Bringing it to a whole new level of disheveled for 2013!
Leaving 2012 in the dust. This Prom Queen ain't Ton'y Old Girl no more.
This Killah Queen is about to become more opinionated than ever.
Sex/Money 2013 people. It's official. Let the games begin!
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